Flight 33
by Treehilldreams
Summary: Lucas promised Brooke that he'd come back to her, that he'd return from his trip to London in just a month. But one phone call changed everything, and suddenly she's not so sure if he'll be coming home. And just like that, her entire world falls apart.
1. Chapter 1

_Hellooooo my dear readers! How are we doing today:-) Hope you're all having a great day. Well, here's another story that I have, but thankfully, if all goes well, **it is not a one-shot. **If my plans stay on track, I will be developing this into a 3-4 part story. I hope you like it, and remember, reviews are simply amazing!!!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own OTH_

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories do not have a clear beginning, middle, or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, _without knowing what's going to happen next_." -Gilda Radner

**"Flight 33"**

There was something about airports that Brooke Davis never liked. It wasn't the fear of flying on a plane that threatened her, nor was it the fast-paced crowds that usually inhabited all airports. It was the simple thought of saying good-bye that unnerved her the very most. Because that's what airports were to her- they were places of farewells to those who were leaving. As Brooke sat in the center of Tree Hill's airport, she knew that she would never dread saying good-bye to someone as much as she did right now.

She turned in her seat and glanced at the person sitting next to her- Lucas Scott. He was holding a book in one hand, and in the other he grasped her hand in his. Every so often, his fingers would touch the ring that graced her left hand. The diamond wasn't much, but that didn't matter to Brooke. All her life, she had considered the material things to hold the most importance- mainly her money. She always thought she would marry a rich man, and together they would live the elaborate lifestyle that she was already so used to living. Yet here she was, with a barely visible engagement ring on her finger and a man who was certainly no where near rich, but she had never been happier. He'd proposed to her just two weeks ago, and as she studies his profile she can remember exactly how it happened.

-

_"So what's the occasion?" she asked, lowering her menu so that she could look at him from across the table. _

_He offered her a warm smile and said,"Why does there have to be an occasion? I'm just taking my girlfriend out to dinner."_

_There was a distinctive twinkle in his eye as he spoke, and she was immediately lost in his gaze. Brooke hated that her affections always seemed to cave to those charming blue eyes of his and that welcoming smile. She was overwhelmed with her love for him, and that was something that she feared. Brooke Davis was fiercely independant, simply because she grew up that way. Without the presence of parents in her life, she learned to fend for herself without the help of others. But Lucas Scott had changed all of that, and for the first time in her life Brooke knew what if felt like to be dependant on someone else. She'd grown to accept that she would probably never be able to live the same without him._

_"Right, so I'm supposed to believe that you took me to a restaurant and ordered $50 dollar entrees just to have a good meal?" she remarked, narrowing her eyes at him in curiosity._

_Lucas held his arms up in surrender, knowing that he could never get anything past her.. _

_"Alright fine, you win. Good news or bad news first?"_

_She wrinkled her nose in dismay, annoyed that he had something bad to tell her. Everything in their relationship was going smoothly so far, and she didn't want to hear something that would disturb the balance._

_"Bad news," she said. _

_Lucas took a sip of his wine, as if trying to stall as long as possible. In her mind, Brooke tried to imagine all of the possible reasons that would cause him to have bad news. An image of Peyton and Lucas kissing flashed before her eyes, and memories of how he had left her for Peyton resurfaced. She grimaced slightly, but banished the thought of him cheating on her. She trusted him now, more than she ever had in the past. Lucas had changed since high school. His past experiences with relationships had taught him well, and he learned that loving someone wasn't as complicated as it seemed. In high school, he was always surrounded by decisions. It always came down to Brooke and Peyton, and he was forced to choose between the two. At first, this decision was cruel and unusual to Lucas. He didn't want to choose between two girls that he both loved. But as time wore on, the choice became more evident than ever. People always told him to go with his first instinct, because most of the time that instinct proved to be correct. When asked who he saw standing next to him in the future, Lucas' answer was quick and definite: Brooke. And as he stared at the pretty brunette sitting across from him, Lucas knew that his first instinct had been right._

_"I'm going away to London for a month," he replied in a single breath, watching her closely to catch her reaction._

_She felt herself sink into her seat, like a little girl pouting after her parents yelled at her. "Do you have to go?" she asked, hoping that he would say he didn't._

_"It's for a writing internship, Brooke. They have some of the best literature departments in the world down in London. I can't pass up this chance," he said._

_He was leaving her. For a month. She wanted to tell him that he couldn't possibly leave her, and that she refused to let him go. But as she looked into his eyes, Brooke saw that he was pleading for her consent. Pushing her dissapointment aside, she braved a smile of acceptance and nodded her head._

_"Then you have to go," she replied._

_He smiled widely and grabbed her hand from across the table. He didn't want to leave her just as much as she didn't want him to leave, but he knew that he had to go. A chance to study among the highest proclaimed literary proffessors in the world didn't come very often. But a part of him worried that he would only want to come back to her the entire time he was away. _

_"So how about that good news of yours?" she asked. _

_His piercing blue eyes held her in an intense stare. She watched as he pushed out his chair, stood up, and walked to her end of the table. _

_Lucas held out his hand to her expectantly and said, "Come dance with me."_

_Brooke looked around the restaurant, and although a woman was playing tunes on a piano in the far corner of the room, not a single couple was dancing. _

_"I don't think there's dancing in this restaurant, Luke."_

_"There is now," he said softly._

_He reached for her hand and pulled her from her seat. She was slightly embarassed at first, afraid that people would start staring at them like they were crazy to be dancing in such a quiet and elegant restaurant. But as Lucas pulled her body to him, she melted into his embrace and leaned her head against his strong chest. His arms brought her close, and as they swayed together his lips gently caressed her forehead and he inhaled the fragrance of her hair. His fingers played with the material of her black dress, and ever so slowly they made their way to the bare skin that the dress revealed on her back. He gently stroked her naked skin, and she trembled and closed her eyes against his touch. His head bent to her ear, and his steady breath tingled against her neck._

_"The good news is that I love you," he whispered into her ear, planting his lips on her smooth neck. Her knees weakened as he kised her vulnerable skin, and the only thing that was holding her up was the steady grip he had around her waist. "The good news is that you're so very beautiful, and I can't imagine going a single day without looking into those green eyes of yours," he murmured into her neck, and the sincerity in his voice brought truth to his words._

_Then he tilted her chin up, and saw that her eyes were still sealed shut in desire. _

_"Open your eyes," he coaxed._

_Her eyes fluttered open, and her dashing green meant his intense blue. He paused for a moment, if only to memorize the intricate green and golden color of her eyes. Then he captured her lips with his own, giving her a kiss that reverberated throughout her entire body. A passionate emotion was released in the simple contact of their lips, fulfilling them in every way possible. _

_He ended their kiss abruptly, and reached into the pocket of his slacks to retrieve a small object. He tenderly lifted her left hand to his lips, kissed it slightly, and then slid a modest diamond ring onto her wedding finger. _

_She studied the ring with wide eyes, the small diamond casting a shimmer into her shocked gaze. Then her eyes returned to his, and he smiled. She rose on her toes and kissed him deeply. In between her kisses, he murmured something that made her heart beat so loudly that she was sure the entire world could hear it._

_"The true good news is that we're getting married..."_

_It didn't matter that he didn't exactly ask her to marry him, it was better that he simply told her they were getting married. In a way, it was as if he positively knew that she wouldn't refuse his proposal. As she kissed her fiance, in a restaurant filled with dozens of people gaping at them, Brooke could only think of one thing: he was going to be hers forever._

_-_

"This will be the final boarding call for flight 13...to London."

The perfectly steady and calculated voice of the announcer echoed throughout the airport, and Brooke silently cursed whoever made those announcements. Because that announcer just called her fiance onto a plane that would take him approximately 3, 878 miles away from her.

Lucas freed his hand from her grasp and stood up from his seat, grabbing his small carry-on luggage that sat on the floor. Her eyes never left him as he fished through his pockets for his airline ticket.

"Stop staring at me like that," Lucas said, catching her off guard.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like you're never going to see me again. I'm coming back, you know. I'll only be away for a month," he said, letting out out a sigh of relief as he finally retrieved his ticket from his pants pocket.

Brooke looked toward a brighty lit sign that showed flight times. The second time was for flight 13, Lucas' flight, and underneath it read 'Final boarding call.' She forced herself to stand up. The sound of someone crying caught her attention, and she turned to her left to see where it was coming from. A few yards from where she stood was a little girl, crying hysterically as she stamped her feet on the ground in dismay. Beside the girl stood a man and a woman who looked to be her parents. The man, presumably her father, had a distressed frown on his face as he struggled to hold all of his luggage in a single hand.

"Please don't go Daddy! You can't...you can't leave me!" the young girl screamed, stamping her feet to emphasize her words.

The father sighed as he checked his watch impatiently, clearly eager to board his plane. "Look, honey, I'm only going away for a week, and I'll be home before you know it. I've got to go now though, be good for your mother while I'm away."

With that, the man dissappeared, leaving his little girl behind with a pool of tears at her feet and a defeated look on her face. And suddenly, all Brooke wanted to do was scream and cause a childish scene just like the girl had done moments before. She didn't want Lucas to leave, just like the daughter didn't want her father to depart, and just like the little girl, Brooke knew that nothing she could say or do would prevent Lucas from going. But it was worth a try.

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Luke."

Lucas looked at her worriedly, and reached his hand out to tuck a stray brown lock behind her ear. "About what, pretty girl? The plane? Everything is going to be fine, trust me."

Brooke shrugged her shoulders, not quiete knowing how to explain why she felt so alarmed and saddened. She placed her hands over her face, and in a muffled voice said, "I don't even know what's wrong with me, Luke. I know that you're only going to be away for a month but for some reason it just seems like you're going to be away forever...and as much as I know that this is such a great opportunity for you, I don't want you to go. And I know that's selfish and unfair but it's the truth...I feel like you're leaving at the worst possible time, right when we're about to start our life together."

He gently pried her hands from her face and securely enfolded her in his arms. She fell into his chest, feeling the first wave of tears slowly fill her eyes. He rubbed her back soothingly, and in a reassuring voice he asked, "You know that I love you, right?"

She nodded against his chest, and the movement caused her first tear to trickle down her face. His arms tightened around her as he continued, "Good. Because if you know that I love you then you should also know that a month in London is not going to change that- ten years couldn't even change that. You know what...in 29 days you'll be getting in your car to come and pick me up from this airport, because in 29 days I'll be home again."

Brooke swallowed the lump in her throat, and willed her tears to stop falling. She stayed within his embrace for just a little while longer, memorizing the way his arms felt around her body. Then she took a deep breath, and softly whispered, "I love you."

He left a kiss on her forehead, and then one on her lips. It was quick and smooth, like it was a habit. Like he was going to kiss her like that every day for the rest of their lives. Then he released her, and she suddenly felt cold in the places that his arms had previously warmed. He took a few steps back, holding her gaze as he slowly edged away from her. "29 days, Brooke, and we'll be standing here again. I promise."

She watched as he drifted further and further into the crowd, and as he turned her back on her she forced her eyes to stay rooted to his retreating figure. She followed the tip of his blonde head with her eyes, and smiled to herself as she thought of how much his hair would grow in a month. He probably wouldn't get it cut, and she'd have to force him to when he came back. Then she heard a scream, and she immediately twisted around to see what was wrong. The little girl from before was standing directly behind her, still stamping her feet and causing a scene. Her mother was trying to hush her, and she just wanted to tell that mother to go to hell, because Brooke knew exactly how that little girl was feeling. Remembering that she had been keeping sight of Lucas walking through the crowds just moments before, Brooke frantically whipped her head around and strained her eyes for that familiar blonde hair.

But he was already gone.

-

**29 days later**

She heard her alarm-clock ring in the distance, and as Brooke's eyes drifted open she was shocked to find that she'd managed to fall asleep last night. She threw off her covers and sprang from the bed in excitement, just like a little kid would do on Christmas morning. Maybe it wasn't Christmas, but this morning was still important. In just three hours, at eleven o'clock, Lucas would be home again. As Brooke hastily made the bed, she smirked, knowing that once he walked through their front door she wasn't going to let him leave the bedroom for days.

Twenty-nine days had come and gone quicker than she'd thought they would. She'd been lonely the first few days that Lucas was absent, but hearing his loving voice on the other end of the phone eased her loneliness. He called her at least once every day, and sometimes more if he was lucky. It turned out that Lucas was busier than he'd ever been before. The course he was taking in London was beneficial and Lucas loved it, but each time he spoke to Brooke he always mentioned how he couldn't wait to hold her in his arms again.

Brooke showered, ate breakfast, and got dressed quicker than she ever had in her entire life. She checked her computer countless times, looking up flight times. Each time she checked, she found that Flight 33, the plane that Lucas was on, was right on schedule and would be arriving at Tree Hill airport by eleven. Lucas had taken a night trip, just so he could be home the very next morning. As Brooke sat at her desk, her laptop opened to flight times in front of her and her engagement ring poised on her finger, all she could think about was setting a wedding date with Lucas on that very night.

Brooke checked the clock once more, and finally decided to leave. It was only nine, and Lucas' flight wouldn't be in for another 2 hours, but she didn't mind waiting at the airport. She'd wait forever for him if she had to.

Seconds later, she was skipping happily toward the front door, unable to contain her excitement. Lucas' words from nearly a month ago echoed in her ears.

_"29 days, Brooke, and we'll be standing here again. I promise."_

Now, all she had to do was wait 2 more hours, and he'd be standing next to her again.

Her hands reached out toward the door knob, but just as she was doing so the house phone began to ring. She sighed in frustration, annoyed that someone would be calling her right when she was about to leave for the airport. She was debating on whether or not to answer it, but as her eyes fell upon a picture positioned on the wall next to her of her and Lucas at a friend's wedding, Brooke knew that she had to pick up the phone. It might be Lucas calling to say that his flight was going to be delayed, despite what her computer had said about it being right on schedule.

She ran to grab the phone before the answering machine clicked on, and she answered with an agitated, "Yes?"

For a moment, no one replied, and Brooke wondered if it was just a prank phone call. But seconds later, a steady and calculated voice spoke through the telephone line.

"Hello, is this Miss Davis?"

Brooke felt a chill race through her body, because she recognized that voice. It belonged to someone that worked at the airport, the person that announced Lucas' flight last time they were there. But she reassured herself quickly, knowing that the airport was only callling to inform her that the flight had been delayed.

"This is Miss Davis speaking," Brooke replied, thinking of how her name would sound when her last name was changed to Scott. She tapped her foot as she waited impatiently for the person on the other line to continue.

"Miss Davis, this is a direct call from Tree Hill Airport. I regret to inform you that there's been a terrible mishap involved with Flight 33, from London to Tree Hill. At 7 o'clock this morning, approximately two hours ago, Flight 33 had an unexpected interference, and due to severe turbulence the plane went down. At this time, we are not sure if there are any surviving passengers..."

The words of the airline worker quickly faded as the telephone crashed to the ground, breaking to pieces. And seconds later, with a distressed sob, Brooke Davis fell to the ground next to it.


	2. Waiting

Hey guys! Alright, so I think it's been about a week since I put this story out. I figure that it's pretty amazing that I've managed to update in such a short time! As I said before, my plan is to develop this into a 3-4 part story, possibly 5. This chapter is sufficiently long, and I hope that you enjoy it! **Review!**

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill.

Chapter 2

Tradegies are always surreal. They're painful and heartbreaking, mostly because we never see them coming. You try to believe that these terrible things aren't actually happening, that they're fake and just cruel tricks of the mind. When it comes down to it, you're so shocked and devastated that you're entire life seems like a black hole. And before you know it, you're falling into the darkness.

_"Miss Davis, this is a direct call from Tree Hill Airport. I regret to inform you that there's been a terrible mishap involved with flight 33, from London to Tree Hill. At 7 o'clock this morning, approximately 2 hours ago, flight 33 had an unexpected interference, and due to severe turbulence the plane went down. At this time, we are not sure if there are any surviving passengers..."_

_The words of the airline worker quickly faded as the telephone crashed to the ground, breaking to pieces. And seconds later, with a distressed sob, Brooke Davis fell to the ground next to it._

-

She was sure that she was dreaming. It was a nightmare, one that was so real, but in her mind she was forcing herself into the belief that it was all just fake. Airplanes rarely crash, and if they did then it was something that would _never_ happen in her life, to someone that she loved so much. Lucas was going to be fine- he had to be. They were getting married, starting their lives. Something like this simply couldn't happen to people that were just beginning.

The floor that she's laying on is hard and cold, but she doesn't feel a thing. She doesn't know how long she's been sprawled across this floor, but time doesn't matter at the moment. Time didn't exist in nightmares, so she was intent to wait on that stone cold floor until she woke up and rid herself of the dream that threatened her life in ways she had never experienced before. Her face is wet, and at first she doesn't understand why. But eventually, she figures out that she's crying, and she's not even trying to. It's just happening on its own- one tear falls after the other, and they just keep coming.

Then the phone rings.

She jumps a little bit at the piercing sound, and looks around nervously because she can't figure out where it's coming from. She already broke the house phone, and it's sitting next to her in shards and pieces. Then she remembers that she has a cell-phone, and almost robotically she reaches into the pocket of her sweatshirt to retrieve it. She doesn't bother to look at the screen to see whose calling. She flips the small phone open and presses it to her ear, and she doesn't say a single word. She just listens.

"Brooke? Is that you?"

Almost immediately, she can tell that it's Haley James-Scott on the phone. But still, Brooke just lays on that floor, staring blankly at the ceiling and doesn't say a word to the girl that's on the phone.

"Brooke...there's been an accident with Lucas. We need to get to the hospital, it's all over the news!"

Haley is crying hysterically. Her heavy and distressed breathing echoes through the phone and sends a shiver down Brooke's spine. She answers her crying friend with silence, and then after another moment she slams the phone shut. With the same robotic movements she mastered seconds before, Brooke lifts herself from the floor and walks into the living room. She finds the tv remote quickly, and with the touch of a button the television buzzes to life.

The screen tells a tale of disaster, of a tragedy that ensures heartbreak for those that are involved. Images of a raging fire flash before Brooke's eyes, and if she looks closely, she can see the remnants of a plane within the flames. Then, as if they're coming from a distance, Brooke hears the faint screams erupt from the wreckage of the plane. At first she thinks it's the crackling of the uncontrollable fire, but as she strains her ears to listen to the sounds coming from her television, Brooke knows that it's not the fire that's screaming. It's the screams of the people that are being swallowed by the flames. She stares at the screen without blinking, and her face bares a somber expression, as if she had just looked death right in the face. Her grip has suddenly tightened on the television remote, and her knuckles are turning white as she grips it. She presses another button, and the channel changes, but the reporters are telling the same story.

"At approximately 7 AM, Flight 33 of American Air Lines crashed due to severe turbulence and malfunctions during the flight. The pilot attempted to make an emergency landing, but failed to do so, and the plane went down in an empty field just outside of Tree Hill, North Carolina. Immediately following the crash, a fire ignited due to a jet fuel leakage, and few passengers managed to escape before the entire aircraft burst into flames. Out of the 123 people on board, an estimated 20 percent of the passengers are survivors. Their identities haven't been revealed. Emergency response workers are reportedly bringing any surviving passengers to Tree Hill Hospital, and we are asking the families of the following people to report to the hospital immediately for further information."

Slowly, a list of names began to play across the screen. Brooke held her breath as she watched, and for a prolonged period of time the names kept appearing. Names of people that could be dead, alive, or somewhere in between...

Then, in bold black letters, "Lucas Scott" flashed across the television screen.

That was when Brooke knew that she wasn't dreaming.

-

In the hospital the families had begun pacing. They'd started asking frantic questions that no one knew the answers to. Some had gotten coffee at the cafeteria without even drinking it, others were flipping through magazines without reading a single word. Brooke sat in the center of everything, somehow managing to remain still as the entire world around her went into a desperate panic.

The families and the friends were all there for the same purpose. They were waiting to hear a single shred of information about the fate of the ones they loved. But no one seemed to know a thing, not even the doctors. People were throwing names left and right at the hospital personnel, demanding information about certain passengers, but the hospital didn't have information to give. So there was only one thing left to do, and that was to wait.

Brooke remained motionless, simply because she didn't know what to do. Everything had happened so fast, and she was blinded by the shocking reality of the situation. She kept a careful eye on her surroundings, hoping that at any moment, the doctors would begin to bring the survivors in. Then she'd finally be able to see Lucas again, because he would be a survivor. He had to be.

The waiting room was huge, and that was a good thing. More and more families were arriving almost every minute, and pretty soon the entire waiting room was filled with people. Brooke noticed the doctors and the nurses that were scattered around the awaiting families. Everything about them was emotionless and neutral- their voices, their faces, the way that they moved. But as she studied them, Brooke occasionally caught the exchange of a signal in the raising of an eyebrow from one doctor to another, and she knew that they were just as terrified as everyone else.

Someone had turned a television on, and a large group of people gathered around it, watching the scene of the plane wreckage. Brooke didn't dare get up to join them. The sound of the screams from the trapped passengers still echoed in her ears from when she first turned the television on in her own home. She couldn't shake the worried thought that one of those screams belonged to Lucas.

Her shoulders began to sink at the thought, and within moments she was hunched over with her face in her hands, falling deeper into her own hopelessness and despair. Her hands covered her eyes, forbidding her tears to fall. She sat like that for a long time, with her body shaking every so often in an effort to hold back a sob.

She felt a small finger begin to tap her on the knee, and shortly following a childish voice spoke into her ear.

"You look sad," and then after a brief pause, "want to talk to me?"

Brooke willed herself to sit up, and the moment she did she was meant with an innocent pair of brown eyes staring her directly in the face. It was a young girl, no more than ten years old, and she was standing so close to Brooke that she was mere inches from her face. Her hair was braided into pig-tails, and the ends were curled into perfect spirals. As Brooke surveyed the child, she had the nagging feeling that she'd seen this girl before.

"Aren't you going to answer me?" the girl asked, and once again she began to poke Brooke on the knee to get her attention.

"Sorry, but I need to go outside real quick," Brooke said into those pure brown eyes, surprised at how easily the lie slipped off her tongue. "Maybe we can talk when I come back in."

The truth was that she didn't want to talk to anyone right now. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth, even to talk to a little girl, she'd start screaming in frustration. She was frustrated because at that very moment, she didn't know where Lucas was or if he was even alive. She was frustrated because she was sitting in a hospital completely alone, surrounded by a frightened group of people who were only adding to her worries. But most of all, she was frustrated because she couldn't do a _single thing _to help herself.

She grabbed her car keys and hastily began to maneuver out of the waiting room. As she walked out, Brooke looked over her shoulder and caught a last glimpse of the little girl who had innocently pestered her. The girl was standing with a woman who looked to be her mother, and her lower lip was trembling in sadness. All at once, Brooke recognized who that little girl was. She was the one that Brooke had seen 29 days ago in the airport, the daughter who had been throwing a tantrum because her father was leaving her.

_The sound of someone crying caught her attention, and she turned to her left to see where it was coming from. A few yards from where she stood was a little girl, crying hysterically as she stamped her feet on the ground in dismay. Beside the girl stood a man and a woman who looked to be her parents. The man, presumably her father, had a distressed frown on his face as he struggled to hold all of his luggage in a single hand. _

_"Please don't go Daddy! You can't...you can't leave me!" the young girl screamed, stamping her feet to emphasize her words._

Brooke felt her heart sink in the realization that the young girl's father had boarded flight 33, just like Lucas had, and now he might never come back to his daughter.

-

She pushed open the doors to the hospital, and was immediately meant with cold air mixed with the steady fall of rain. The sky was grey and foreboding, as if it knew that this depressing day deserved to have depressing weather. Most people run to get to their cars when it's raining, but Brooke walked across the parking lot with slow strides, numb to the wet sting of the pouring rain.

Her car was parked across the street from the hospital, and as she set foot on the busy road to get to it, she paid no attention to the oncoming stream of traffic. The cars that were driving down the road skidded to a halt, the angry drivers cursing and honking at Brooke for carelessly walking straight into moving traffic, but she was completely oblivious to the world around her. The only thing that existed was her constant fear and heartache that she never expected to experience. This morning, she was supposed to wake up and drive to the airport, and there she would find Lucas waiting for her- just like he promised he would. As she finally gets across the busy street, his exact words resurface in a painful recollection...

_"You know what...in 29 days you'll be getting in your car to come and pick me up from this airport, because in 29 days I'll be home again."_

By the time Brooke's reached her car, her clothes are soaked all the way through and her hair is damply strung against her face. She opened the door of the black SUV, and grunted as she grabbed the handle above the door to pull herself inside. Lucas bought this car for her, insisting on getting an exceptionally large SUV for the family that they'd have in the future. Brooke laughed bitterly to herself at the memory, because having a family with Lucas Scott might not even be in the cards for her anymore.

She didn't bother to turn up the heat to get warm, and instead chose to shiver as she stared at the perpetual rain drops that fell on her windshield. It's now 4:00 in the afternoon, and her stomach turns a bit as she realizes that she hasn't eaten since early morning. But something as simple as being hungry doesn't hold any importance to Brooke anymore, not when there's other things in her life that propose even greater threats- like plane crashes.

As she sits there amongst the constant rainfall, she thought of something that hadn't occurred to her all day. She needed to call Karen, because surely she should be at the hospital with Brooke, waiting to hear if her son was going to live another day. But as Brooke reached in the pocket of her sweatshirt for her cell-phone, she remembered that Karen was in New York with her daughter, Lily. They went to see a play on Broadway, and they wouldn't be home until tomorrow morning. Brooke knew that she should still call, but she honestly didn't know what to say. So she shoved the thought of calling Karen aside, and instead decided to call Haley, because for some reason she still hadn't shown up at the hospital since calling Brooke that morning. She flipped open her phone to dial Haley's number, but stopped when the bright screen flashed an alert message saying that she had one new voice mail.

She held the phone to her ear, and bit down on her lip as she waited for the message to play. Then the steady articulacy of a familiar voice filled her ears, and her breath caught in her throat as she listened.

"Pretty girl, it's me. I know that you're probably still sleeping...if my timings right then it's around 5:00 A.M. in Tree Hill. The guy sitting next to me on this plane is sleeping as well, and he's probably pretty pissed off right now because I'm disturbing him by calling you, but I couldn't help myself. I can't wait to see you this morning, and this afternoon, and tonight, and tomorrow morning...and every day for the rest of our lives. I know how corny that sounds, but I really don't know how I made it this long without you. Alright, I've got to go now...the stewardess is walking by and she's giving me a dirty look for being on the phone when everyone else is asleep. Oh, and by the way, I sent you something special the other day, but you probably won't get it for a few more days because I wanted to see your face when you opened it. Hope you like it. I'll see you soon...love you. "

The message ended with a prolonged beep, and Brooke slowly let her phone drop from her ear. A newfound fear crept through her body at the sound of Lucas's voice on that message, because now there's a possibility of never hearing it again. Then the tears start to spill down her face, and the salty taste mixes with the drops of rain that still cover her body. Her crying is subdued at first, just silent drops of water spilling from her eyes. But she can still hear those awful screams from the people trapped on the plane, and now they're mixing with the sound of Lucas's voice on his message, and suddenly she can't bear the pain.

"_God damnit _Lucas!" she screamed, sending her fists into the steering wheel. "How could you do this to me?"

She knew that it wasn't his fault. He probably never saw something like this coming, but it doesn't even matter because what she's saying doesn't amount to anything at the moment. She screamed continuously, pounding the steering wheel in a crazy frenzy because it was the only way she knew how to relieve the pain. Her body heaved with her sobs, and after a long time, her movements slowed until her head collapsed onto the steering wheel in exhaustion.

But the tears continued effortlessly, and she cried until she couldn't feel anymore.

-

It was 9:00 at night, and at Tree Hill Hospital the people waiting to hear about the passengers of flight 33 grew more anxious with each passing minute. Haley had finally arrived 2 hours ago, claiming that she simply couldn't summon the courage to bring herself to the hospital during the daytime. Brooke didn't mind, she was just happy to finally have a familiar person waiting with her. They sat together in a comfortable silence. Occasionally, Haley's hand would find Brooke's, and she would give it a reassuring squeeze, as if to silently clarify that everything would be alright.

"You don't have to stay here all night, Haley. You can go home to get some sleep whenever you want," Brooke said, offering her friend a forced smile.

Haley immediately shook her head and once again reached out to hold Brooke's hand. "Nathan's going to be home all night watching Jamie. I'm staying here with you, and don't even try to convince me to leave."

Brooke nodded her head, knowing that Haley would stay at that hospital until she left herself. Brooke's eyes fell to the floor, and for the hundredth time that day, she questioned herself on how something like this could happen. It was impossible, surreal, unheard of. Yet things like this had managed to happen even before this fatal day. There had been heart-attacks, car accidents, school shootings, even deaths...and they had all happened within Tree Hill. But that was life, and in life things like this happen every single day.

"Brooke?"

She looked up at her friend, noting the deep signs of stress that had taken residence on the furrowed lines of Haley's forehead and within the worried look of her eyes.

"I just want you to know that no matter what happens, _everything _will be alright. Okay?"

The determination in Haley's voice and the steady look in her eye made Brooke want to trust her, but she couldn't. Everything wasn't going to be alright, at least not for a very, very long time. Brooke knew that Haley was only trying to help, and regardless of what she personally thought, she nodded her head and said, "I know."

Suddenly, an eerie silence enveloped the waiting room. The nervous pacing halted, the talk dried up, the breathing stopped. All of the doctors and nurses had moved to the front of the room, and one doctor in particular stood in front of everyone else. He was a pleasant-looking man, the type that looked like he had come straight out of the cast of _Grey's Anatomy. _He had a solemn look on his face, the kind that showed that whatever he was about to say wasn't as pleasant as the way he looked.

In a slow and precise voice, the doctor divided his speech into easily grasped segments. "I'm going to ask everyone...waiting for information on the passengers of flight 33...to follow our hospital personnel to a nearby conference room... that is located in the east wing of our hospital...it's a short walk," he took a second to point out a hallway that came off the waiting room, "just down that corridor...hospital personnel will lead the way."

Brooke's heart began to pound, and her breathing quickened so excessively that her chest began to heave with each breath. She'd been waiting all day for news of any kind, and now they were about to give it to her. But strangely, she didn't want to hear it. All she wanted was for this day to end.

The hospital staff were already gently prodding people, herding them out of the waiting room and into the hallway. Haley was already up, ready to follow the crowd of people. She looked expectantly at Brooke, and with a silent prayer she stood up. For some reason, she had difficulty standing and she stumbled, but Haley took her arm and lead her down the hallway. It was a short walk, like the doctor promised, and the same people that had been waiting at this hospital for the entire day were now gathered in a rather small conference room.

Brooke never knew that rooms like this existed in hospitals, but it was clear as to why they had been moved there. The doctors were going to explain what everyone knew already- the plane had crashed. Then they were going to go through the list of who lived and who died. When people started screaming and sobbing, in either relief or despair, the doctors wanted them away from the other patients in the hospital, alone in a room with closed doors.

The same pleasant-looking doctor that directed everyone to the conference room appeared once again at the head of the room.

"We'd like to apologize for the long wait, but we hope that you understand how necessary it was for us to correctly identify each patient before releasing any information," he said.

Then a small nurse handed him a clip-board, and he took a single glance at it, then looked back up into the gathered group of people. "We have," he began, in an unwavering voice, "a list of survivors. After a deliberate and thorough day of search and rescue, it has been confirmed that this is the _final_ and _complete _list."

Everyone in the room froze, or trembled, or shuddered. No one spoke, no one breathed. They all leaned toward the doctor, willing their sons or daughters, their mothers or fathers, their brothers or sisters, their lovers or spouses, _even fiances_, to be on that list.

Brooke was shaking violently now, and despite what she thought previously, she repeated in her head what Haley had told her moments before.

_Everything will be alright._

_Everything will be alright._

_Everything will be alright. _

But it didn't help at all, and suddenly her worried thoughts clouded her mind. Lucas. Was he scared? Did he know what was happening? Did it hurt? Did he feel himself falling? How many minutes did he have of feeling it, knowing it, being terrified? Brooke thought of falling. Falling thousands and thousands of feet, feeling a plane hurtle you into the earth, like you were something as simple as a raindrop or a snowflake.

Lucas Scott, she thought, seeing him blindly, seeing the expression on his face the first time she spoke to him in the backseat of his car, seeing the loving look in his eyes as he slipped her engagement ring onto her finger, seeing the letter he wrote her that one time, and how he signed it at the bottom: _You're mine forever._

_Her_ Lucas Scott. The man that she was going to marry.

And then her thoughts ceased and her attention was directed again to the front of the room, because the first name on that list was about to be called.

* * *

Okay, please don't kill me for leaving it off like that. Sorry guys! I'll try to update asap. You know you want to click that review button!


	3. How to save a life

Sorry that it took more than a week to update this! I was ready to update about five days ago, but I had some complications and I needed to re-write some things. Anways, thank you so much for your feedback from previous chapters! I love the reviews:-)

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH. Also, I borrowed the beginning quote from a voiceover but changed it around a bit.

Chapter 3

There comes a time when _every_ life goes off course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on your path, despite the fear and the confusion and the pain? Or will you succumb to the sadness, and simply give up? It's the choices that we make in these moments that change the rest of our lives, for better or for worse.

-

_A small nurse handed him a clip-board, and he took a single glance at it, then looked back up into the gathered group of people. "We have," he began, in an unwavering voice, "a list of survivors. After a deliberate and thorough day of search and rescue, it has been confirmed that this is the final and complete list."_

_Everyone in the room froze, or trembled, or shuddered. No one spoke, no one breathed. They all leaned toward the doctor, willing their sons or daughters, their mothers or fathers, their brothers or sisters, their lovers or spouses, __**even fiances,**__ to be on that list. _

Lucas Scott.

It would be the first name called. The doctors would tell Brooke that he was fine, and that he'd escaped everything without a single scratch. They'd bring Brooke to him, and he'd smile and wrap her in his arms, whispering that everything was alright now because he was alive. Then they'd go home together, just like Brooke anticipated earlier that day, and they'd set a wedding date. Brooke Davis was sure of this. She'd gone through her life with a swift and easy confidence because things usually went her way. She'd hit a few bumps and bruises here and there, but it was nothing to be worried about because everything turned out to be okay. After all, people who were meant to be together _always_ found their way in the end. That's why Brooke knew that Lucas was on the list, and she wasn't going to question it.

But his name wasn't the first to be called. Nor was it the second, or the third. Not even the fourth. As each name was announced, a small portion of hope slowly seeped out of Brooke's heart, and suddenly she wasn't so sure of things.

"Victoria Johnson, Tanya Lyons, Mark Stuart, Oliver Hunt, Brad Harrison, Janet Richards..."

The doctor's voice was dispassionate and precise, and she wondered if he knew what he was doing. Did he know that he was saving a life just by mentioning a name? Did he know that he was killing someone by not calling out a name? It was strange, Brooke thought, that all they had left to determine life or death was simple names.

People had begun shouting out, and the calm silence of the room was broken. Everyone was talking, begging for the names of those they cared about, and Brooke couldn't hear anything. She wanted to scream at the people surrounding her, to tell them to shut their mouths because Lucas's name was coming up. But the words wouldn't come out, and she stood helpless in the face of a tragedy that she couldn't control.

"Karen Hunt, Frank Osbourne, Joshua Adams, Shannon Belter, Walter Rochette..."

The announcements were endless, and Brooke found herself praying for this list to go on forever. Maybe the doctors and the rescuers had gotten everything wrong, and the list of survivors would be the entire list of passengers.

"Patricia Hart, Quentin Thomas, Laura Renolds, Daniel Cummings.."

Someone was shouting in front of her, and Brooke saw that it was the little girl who attempted to speak to her earlier that day. She was with her mother, and they were both smiling and crying in joy.

"Daniel Cummings! That's dad! Daddy's okay!" the girl yelled, jumping up and down frantically in excitement. Daniel Cummings survived, and even though Brooke didn't know him, the faintest hint of a smile graced her face for the first time since early morning. The little girl still had a father, and the mother had a husband. Their family was complete.

Then the voice stopped, and with it the cries of the people ended. Silence erupted once again in the room, and for some reason Brooke felt like she needed to put her hands over her ears because it was _deafening._ It was a cruel silence, one that conveyed the promise of sadness. The list of survivors was over. Finished. Done.

She felt Haley's hand touch her arm, and she was startled by her friend's presence. She'd forgotten that Haley was standing next to her the entire time, but then again Brooke wasn't aware of much at the moment except for that list.

"They must have made a mistake," Brooke murmured, and the hold Haley had on her arm tightened.

The list was incomplete, she told herself, because Lucas wasn't on it. The only solution would be that they made a mistake. They forgot to write down his name, or maybe the doctor wasn't finished reading and he was just taking a break.

The stillness of the room was disturbed once more, and the sound of people sniffling and breathing heavily could be heard. They were crying, but no one was shouting or talking anymore. The quiet tears proved that they understood the unsaid truth in the room: those who weren't on the list weren't alive. In a way, they weren't just crying- they were mourning.

"It's a miracle in itself that there were any survivors at all," the doctor began in a supressed tone, as if speaking too loud would disturb those who were burdened with grief. "But now we'd like to ask the families of the following people if they would please join this nurse." He pointed to a woman who was standing in the corner, a grim expression shown on her face.

_"I've got a bad feeling about this, Luke."_

_Lucas looked at her worriedly, and reached his hand out to tuck a stray brown lock behind her ear. "About what, pretty girl? The plane? Everything is going to be fine, trust me."_

He told her to trust him, and she had. She'd trusted him so much that she didn't even think twice about the possiblity of something happening to the plane. No, the plane was never Brooke's concern. It was the thought of not being with Lucas for a full 29 days that dissapointed her, and currently that thought was foolish. She would gladly be apart from Lucas for another 29 days, because now it's miniscule in comparison to the possibility of not seeing him ever again.

The doctor who announced everything so far was handed another list, but it wasn't a list of survivors. It was a list of fatalities.

"Lucas Scott."

His name was the first to be called, but contradictory to what she assumed earlier, the doctors weren't going to tell Brooke that he was fine and that he'd escaped without a single scratch. They weren't going to take her to him, and he wasn't going to wrap her in his arms and whisper that everything was alright because he was alive. Everything wasn't going to be alright. His name was the first to be called. The first victim, the first sufferer, the first announcement of a person that was gone. _The first death. _

It seemed pointless to walk through the crowd, to greet the nurse with the grim look on her face. And yet, Brooke felt herself moving, with Haley following behind her. She could feel the eyes of the people follow her as she progressed forward, and even though her eyes were planted to the ground, she knew that they all watched her with a look of pity.

Her entire body was trembling, but the finger that donned her engagement ring seemed to be shaking more than anything else. The diamond in her ring was small, but it felt like it was weighing her down. Then a dark thought entered her mind as she realized that it wasn't an engagement ring anymore. You couldn't be engaged without a fiance.

When she reached the nurse, she meant to say that there'd been a mistake, and that Lucas Scott was placed on the wrong list. But as she looked into the nurse's sorrowful eyes, she knew that it was useless.

"Did it hurt? Was he scared? Did he know it was happening?" she demanded, hearing the sound of her voice getting louder and louder with each passing word.

The nurse looked at her blankly, as if she didn't know what Brooke was talking about.

She felt the anger mounting, the fury over everything building up, and suddenly things were exploding.

"Was he scared? _Answer me! _Tell me _something _since I've been waiting in this hospital all day with not a single bit of reassurance, and now I find that you don't even know where he is or what happened to him!"

She heard herself screaming, and she knew that she was hysterical, but she didn't care. She felt Haley's hand on her shoulder in an attempt to silence her, but Brooke shrugged her friend off. The world was spinning around her, and she fought to stay upright as she stared down the innocent nurse.

"I want to see my fiance! I_ have _to see him. Where is he?"

A new coldness spread over her body, and everything started to hurt. The pain was like a plague, taking over so quickly that she didn't know if it would ever end.

"I'm so sorry, miss," the nurse said.

There would be no wedding. No more kisses, no more hugs, no more shared laughs.

Because there was no more Lucas.

-

She's lost somewhere, and it's in a place where she isn't alive, but she's not dead either. It's a scary place, somewhere between dreams and awake, when you know you're dreaming and you want to wake up...but you can't. What's happening is real, and for the first time since she got that phone call that changed everything, Brooke Davis is finally accepting the truth. Lucas is dead.

She watched from a distance as the coffin was lowered into the ground. Heavy and pale clouds hovered over the earth, and the drift of an unsettled wind brought shivers throughout her body. Karen stood beside her, clinging to Brooke's arm as she cried uncontrollably. She wondered what it was like to lose a son, if it was worse than losing a fiance. But however selfish and cold it seemed, Brooke felt a strong doubt that no one could feel as bad as she did right now.

Her tears were never-ending, but they were silent and still. It was like a slow death. As each tear fell, her heart was ripped apart more and more. A scream was hidden somewhere within her throat, begging to be let loose. She wanted to scream and yell, but she chose to remain in her torturing silence, listening to the words of the priest as he chanted the final prayer.

"In the midst of life we are in death. Lucas Scott was a beautiful soul, and though he is no longer here with us, it is in our belief that he is in a place that is filled with a divine peace and happiness."

But she wanted him to come back from that place of happiness. She wanted him to be here with her, wiping away her tears and calming her. She wanted to go back to the beginning when she let him walk onto that plane.

She tried desperately to imagine his face, but all that she could summon was a blur of blonde hair and blue eyes.

"The Lord is his savior, and may He grant Lucas peace for the rest of time..."

Then the service was over, and one by one the mourners began to leave the cemetery. Brooke remained where she was, unable to move in fear that she might fall to the earth with the first step she took.

She watched as Nathan stood in a suit of black, with Haley crying into his shoulder, and his son perched steadily in his arms. Nathan Scott lost a brother that day, but he still had a son and a wife to go home to, and Brooke resented him. She was never going to have that, at least not with Lucas.

Others had died in that plane crash, and Lucas was only one among the casualties. Brooke was torturing herself inexplicably, and every time she had the chance she found a new way to blame herself for his death. She shouldn't have let him leave. She should have _forced_ him to stay home. Better yet, she should have gone with him, holding his hand the second that plane went down. She should have saved him.

A wave of nausea consumed her as the sound of Lucas's voice unexpectedly erupted into her mind.

_"Hey, pretty girl," he said, his voice scratchy and tired._

_She'd been laying in his bed for hours, staring into the darkness as she thought of her boyfriend. Lucas was tainted with the death of his uncle, and for some reason he felt as if this entire thing had been his fault. She'd tried her hardest to comfort him, but nothing seemed to work. _

_"Hey, I was going to sleep in my car...but I heard a noise and I think it was a bear or something," she replied, rolling her eyes and offering a smile in an attempt to lighten the situation._

_This tragedy brought a terrible despair, and although she was trying to be strong, the only thing Brooke could think about was how terrible it would have been if Lucas died in that school. She was scared and terrified, and she couldn't rid the thought of Lucas dying from her head. _

_"Well where were you parked?"_

_"Right outside here," she said, pointing to his door to show him that she'd been right outside his house._

_She felt that she needed to be near him, as if to make certain that he was alright, to make certain that he was alive. He crawled onto the bed next to her, and gently slipped an arm around her waist as he positioned himself beside her._

_"Well...have I told you how much I love you today?" he asked. _

_"Not really."_

_"Well I do, and even when I don't tell you, it means a lot to know you're there...it means everything."_

_She could tell that he'd been crying from the redness in his eyes, and she knew that he was devastated and that he needed her. _

_"I am here. We both are," she whispered, as if to explain that their lives would go on and they'd continue to live, even in the midst of death and tragedy._

_"I know. It's good being here," he said as he took a deep breath, "especially with you."_

_And suddenly she can't take it anymore as the thoughts of him rushing into that school clouded her mind. He needs her, but she also needs him right now, more than ever._

_"I wish that it was me," she said hesitantly, and the confused look he gave her proves that he doesn't understand what she's saying. But she has to explain this to him because he has to understand just how much she needs him. "I know that's horrible, and I know that's selfish, but I watched you rescue Peyton, and you told me you rescued Dan...and sometimes I just wish you could rescue me."_

_"From what?" he fiercely questioned, almost like he was challenging her, because they both knew that she was strong. She was Brooke Davis, and if anyone could survive amongst sadness, then it would be her._

_"From everything."_

_"Okay then," he said, shrugging his shoulders in an easy manner, "I will. But only if you promise to rescue me back."_

_"I promise."_

_He leaned in to give her a soft kiss, and she smiled as his lips grazed hers. For the first time since the school shooting, they both knew that they were going to get through this. They were going to be okay, and they'd be there for each other to make sure of that._

The wind swept through the cemetery, finding it's way to the lone and shivering figure of Brooke Davis. She was thinking about how she couldn't save him.

She didn't even know how to save herself.

-

The minutes, hours, and days began to blend together. Things were different now with the absence of a single person. Brooke hadn't returned to her home since the morning she left for the hospital, which had been exactly two weeks ago. She didn't want to go back to the home that she shared with Lucas, because she was sure that his presence within the house would be too much to bare.

She'd decided to stay with Karen for the time being, and each morning she woke up in Lucas's former room, surrounded by his old belongings. That's when she knew that she could never escape him because even in death, he was _everywhere._

She saw his face in the mural of the river court painted on his wall. He was in every room, taunting her and making her believe in the falsity of his presence. She'd fall asleep at night in his old bed, and within her dreams she'd feel his arms wrapped around her, but he was gone the second she opened her eyes. Sometimes, if she listened closely, she could hear his voice speaking to her in the early morning, when the golden rays of the sun found their way through his window.

He'd tell her that she was going to be okay, and that pretty soon her pain would cease. But she didn't believe him.

The mornings were the hardest, when she was forced to wake up and begin a new day, knowing that he wasn't going to be there with her.

"Can we have pancakes today?" Lily asked, already fishing through the cabinets for pancake mix.

Brooke nodded her head as she walked into the kitchen, yawning and blinking the tiredness out of her eyes. She wasn't sure if Lily understood that her brother was gone, and Brooke preferred it that way. The young girl was still surrounded by her own innocence and happiness, and Brooke was warmed by the sight of someone living their life as if nothing had happened.

Almost robotically, Brooke prepared the pancakes, listening as Lily giggled and told her stories about her adventures at school. She noticed as Karen walked into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, and the older woman sat down at the table with a blank look in her eyes.

Brooke poured the messy batter into the pan, and watched it turn into a golden color as it cooked.

"You're not doing it right," Lily muttered, pulling on Brooke's sweatshirt in dismay.

Brooke looked into the young girl's face, and she shuddered as she was meant with Lily's blue eyes that shared an uncanny resemblance to her brother's.

"Lucas used to make smiley faces with the batter. You have to make them like he did," Lily insisted.

She heard Karen slam her coffee mug onto the kitchen table at the mention of her son's name, but Brooke fought to remain calm as she finished making the pancakes the way that Lucas used to. Once the breakfast was finished, Brooke took her seat at the kitchen table next to Karen.

"How are you today?" Karen asked impassively. Something had changed within the older woman, and she was now distraught, as if her entire being had been ripped away.

And just like she did every single day, Brooke answered, "Fine."

But it was a lie. She wasn't fine- she was far from it.

"Why aren't you eating your pancakes, Brooke?" Lily asked from across the table.

Brooke stared at her unappetizing breakfast. She hadn't eatten a solid meal since the funeral. Almost every time she tried to eat, she grew nauseous and sick, so she decided to stop eating all together. It made sense to do that, because it was easier to be completely empty, void of everything except for her sadness.

But as Lily looked at her with those enchanting blue eyes, Brooke forced herself to pick up her fork and take a bite of her food. She chewed, swallowed, and then took another bite. But by the third bite, just as she'd predicted, her stomach began to turn and she felt the color drain from her face as the first wave of nausea hit. She put her hands over her mouth and pushed her chair out from underneath the table.

"Are you alright?" Karen asked alarmedly, a hint of emotion showing in her empty gaze.

"Fine," she whispered. Another lie.

She rushed out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut as she immediately hunched over the toilet. Her entire body shook and wrenched violently as she emptied the little food she'd eaten into the toilet. She ached for Lucas's soothing touch, for him to be kneeling next to her. If he was there, he'd make everything better. But he wasn't there, and Brooke was alone.

Once she was finished, she flushed the toilet and stood to look at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like a different person. Her brown hair was knotted and pulled back in a tight bun, her eyes were cold and detached, and her usual dimples were invisible against her pale skin. The sweatshirt that hung from her body suddenly felt like it was trapping her, and she hastily pulled it off. She turned it over in her hands, fingering the grey material and the emblem on the back that said, "Keith Scott Body Shop." The old hoody was worn with age, and it was recently covered in small and wet watermarks- her own tears. She brought the sweatshirt to her nose and inhaled the familiar scent of Lucas Scott.

For the past few days, a nagging thought had filled her mind. It was something that she didn't want to believe, and she tried to deny the fact that it was even there. But it was undeniable, and yesterday she'd finally convinced herself to go to the nearest drugstore to buy a test.

She opened the cabinet above the sink, and on the first shelf was the white box she purchased yesterday. With shaking fingers, she opened the box and took out a test. Her eyes scanned the directions on the back, which directed that two red lines indicated that you were pregnant, and a single blue line meant that you weren't.

She closed her eyes as she waited for the test to process, and involuntarily she thought back to a night a little over a month ago. The night that he'd proposed to her.

_He pushed her onto the bed, and fell against her naked chest. She was breathing heavily as he kissed her forehead, her lips, the hollow of her throat. His hands never left her body, making sure to touch and caress every part of her as she gave herself to him willingly._

_His lips made their way down her chest and to her stomach, and she arched her back and shuddered as his head slowly dipped between her legs. The feel of his tongue drove her close to the edge, and her hands tugged at his hair, bringing him back to her face. _

_"You're mine," he whispered against her lips, "you'll always be mine."_

_She moaned as he kissed the sensitive spot just below her ear, and her hands frantically reached for the belt of his pants. At the same time, he was reaching for the zipper of her jeans, and within seconds their bare skin was pressed against each other in a tight embrace. He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her engagement ring that he'd placed on her finger just hours before. He positioned herself between her thighs, and his eyes devoured her as she waited. For a nagging moment, she remembered that he didn't have protection on, and she wasn't on the pill. But as he entered her, the world fell away, and with it she forgot about her worries._

_She held his head against her chest as he moved within her, and as the first wave of passion hit them, she shook uncontrollably as three words formed on her lips. _

_"I love you."_

She opened her eyes, knowing that the test was finished, but she couldn't bring herself to look at it. Her mind was firing accusations at herself, telling her that she was irresponsible, that she shouldn't have slept with her fiance without protection. But a part of her knew that if Lucas was still alive, she wouldn't feel irresponsible. She'd feel happy.

"Brooke, are you sick?" Karen asked from outside the door.

With Lucas's sweatshirt gripped tightly in her hands, Brooke shook her head, knowing that she couldn't lie and say that she was fine. She had two apparent choices. If the test was positive, she could view this as a blessing, but her mind was filled with negativity. If it was positive, her baby wouldn't have a father.

"No," she whispered, and after a brief pause, "I think I'm pregnant."

* * *

Okay, so you hate me. But I seriously hope that you guys understand that I've had this envisioned from the very beginning, and after I got all of your reviews I really was considering taking this story in a different direction in which Lucas would live. I was really nervous, because I keep thinking that no ones going to read this now because I killed Lucas off. But I knew that I had to stick to my plan because I've always intended to write a fic like this, and I just couldn't change it. I'm sorry if you guys are sad, but I promise that if you just stick with this story, which only has about two chapters left, things will get better. So please continue to read! Thank you for all of your reviews! I love the feedback, so please let me know what you think of this. 


	4. Like You'll Never See Me Again

Okay, so it's been forever. But there's these things, they're called midterms, and they totally killed me this year...but enough with the excuses. Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone that has reviewed this story so far, you're all amazing. Read and review, hope you enjoy, and there's a little note at the end :-)

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, the song is by Alicia Keys, "Like You'll Never See Me Again," and the quote used at the end is by John F. Kennedy.

_If I had no more time_

_No more time left to be here_

_Would you cherish what we have_

_Is it everything that you were looking for_

Karen was knocking on the bathroom door, and the steady sound collided with the pounding of Brooke's heart. She sat on the cold tile floor, with her back pressed firmly against the wall. Her eyes were staring into a place that she wasn't even seeing, carefully avoiding the pregnancy test that was still perched on the counter. Her mind was swarming with conflicting emotions, and she was wondering how her life had gotten to this point, how she had ended up in this situation. She might be pregnant.

Pregnant.

She repeated the word over and over again in her mind, testing it out, trying to understand how she felt about the possibility of having a child. But her thoughts and emotions were strewn together in a confusing mess, and she couldn't figure out if she should be happy or sad, excited or regretful, worried or grateful. Yet a consistent thought managed to come above all others, and in the silence of the room she could almost hear it erupting from her mind.

_She was alone in this._

It was hard to swallow that everything had been normal just short of two weeks ago, and as hard as she tried, her mind couldn't reach back to remember how it felt. Happiness was an irretrievable feeling at this point in Brooke's life. But somehow, even though she was tainted with her own despair, there was still a feeling of love that never left her. It haunted her and remained in a place deep within her heart, and she could remember clearly how it felt to be in love with someone, and to have someone love her back.

"Brooke?" Karen's voice called out, closely followed by the sound of a turning door knob.

The door creaked as it was pushed open. She could feel Karen's eyes staring at her, but Brooke chose to remain still and speechless, wrapped in the possibilities of being pregnant, of being a mother, of doing it all _alone. _Karen cleared her throat loudly, and finally Brooke looked into the older woman's face, noting the look of concern that was so evident in the worried lines that had formed on her forehead. At that moment she felt something that she hadn't felt in a long time, and it came so quickly that she could barely distinguish what it was. Karen's concerned expression was somewhat comforting, because after losing the person that loved and cared for Brooke the most in her life, it felt good to know that someone else was there. Someone else cared, and that gave her hope.

"Did you take a test?"

The question is harmless, and Karen doesn't even understand what she's just done by asking it. Brooke narrowed her eyes, and she fought to keep herself together as she remembered back to the first time that something like this happened. The first time that she thought she was pregnant it was only a scare, but it felt as if her entire life was about to fall apart right before her eyes.

_He's sitting on the picnic table, staring at the court when she approaches him. At first he doesn't see her, but once she's directly in front of him, his eyes focus and his broody-gaze is more apparent than ever. He looks at her with a sense of guilt in his eyes, and it was as if he was silently speaking to her. She can tell by his intrusive gaze that all he wants to do is say that he's sorry over and over again for what he's done to her, even though he's already said it multiple times._

_A brutal wind erupts from the trees surrounding the court, and a shiver runs down her spine. She shoves her hands deep within her pockets as her hair blew in her face, and she nervously tucks a stray piece behind her ear. She can't find the strength to look him in the eye, because she knows that if she does, her heartbreak will deepen. He barely understands what he's done to her. Brooke Davis was a closed in person. She never let people get to close to her, because she knew from experience that most people would end up hurting her in the long run. She chose her friends and those she cared for decisively, and when she was faced with the prospect of giving her heart to Lucas Scott, she was filled with uncertainty. But she was convinced that Lucas was different from all the other boys that she'd been with in the past. She _trusted _him. And of course, the one time that she let her guard down, she ended up being betrayed by not one, but two people that she cared for and trusted more than anything._

_"I need to talk to you," she says in a shaky whisper, and his squinted eyes narrow even more by the tone of her voice._

_She sounds terrified._

_"Okay," he says, nodding his head reassuringly in a futile attempt to somehow comfort the broken girl standing before him. _

_She takes a deep breath, looks him straight in the eye, and says in a single breath, "I think I'm pregnant."_

_His mouth slightly falls open in shock, and she can feel the tears begin to well in her eyes. _

_"What do you mean, "you think?"'_

_His eyes frantically search her face, looking for a sign of laughter or the sight of her dimpled smile, signaling that this was all just a cruel joke to get back at him for what he'd done. But her expression is resolute, and the only emotion he can see in her face is pure fear. His mind is racing, and all he can think about is that they're just too young for something like this. They're only juniors in high school. _

_"I mean I'm late," she says, and at first he doesn't appear to understand. "Like..._late," _she elaborated._

_Finally something clicks in his head, and he tries to form a coherent thought, a coherent sentence...but nothing comes to him. The only thought he had was still sounding in his mind, and when the harsh wind whistled in his ear he could almost hear it whispering, "You're too young." But then another thought comes into focus, and he's shocked that he's had it, but at the same time a little bit relieved. Maybe this could be his second chance with Brooke Davis. Maybe this was happening right now, at this very moment, to bring them back together._

_But when his frantic eyes search her once again, the thought vanishes and is replaced with the frightened image of the girl standing before him. _

_He stumbles over his words, wanting to say so many things to comfort and reassure her, but the only thing he manages is, __**"Did you take a test?"**_

Brooke wondered if he would react to her news as an adult the same way he did as a young boy in high school. But she would never know, and she hated the fact that she would never come to understand so many things about the man she loved.

In high school, it had only been a false alarm. It turned out that she wasn't pregnant, and her fear over the matter was all for nothing. But in the present time, as she sat on that cold bathroom floor, the fear she felt now was infinitely worse than the terror she'd felt the first time something like this happened. Because this time, she didn't have him here with her.

"Brooke, did you take a test?"

It's the second time that Karen has asked, and she repeated it slowly and precisely, as if she was talking to a young child. Brooke fought the urge to place her hands over her ears, because for the second time, she can hear Lucas's voice over Karen's, asking her that same question in the past.

Brooke's eyes wondered unwillingly to the counter of the sink and the pregnancy test that sat on top of it. Karen followed her gaze, and in one swift movement she picked the test up, her eyes quickly scanning over the results.

_She can't bring herself to look at the test on her own, so she walks out of her small bathroom and back into the bedroom. He's sitting on her bed patiently, and her entire body shakes as she approaches him. He watches her closely, and to him she looks like nothing more than a young child, and the traces of her previous seductive and confident self have vanished. She looks like a 17 year old girl that shouldn't have to be experiencing something like this so soon in life._

_She reaches her arm out until it's positioned directly in front of his face. At first, all he looks at is her fingers, because she was gripping the pregnancy test so hard that her knuckles were turning whiter by the second. Then he heard her sharp intake of breath as she attempted to hold in a sob, and he averted his gaze back to the test. _

_"It's positive," he whispered._

"It's positive," Karen said loudly, her eyes widening in shock.

Last time, it was only a false alarm. But somehow, Brooke knew that it wasn't this time.

_If I couldn't feel your touch_

_And no longer were you with me_

_I'd be wishing you were here_

_To be everything that I've been looking for_

She needed to get away from the positive pregnancy test that had the potential to make her situation even worse, and she also needed a desperate escape from her life. So she'd gotten in the car, ignoring the pleas from Karen to stay and talk about what they had just discovered. She drove around for hours, until the sun went down and the entire town of Tree Hill had grown dark, with only the steady light from the pale moon visible. Then she ended up in a strange yet familiar place.

She was parked by the water on the far side of the court, and the white light from the moon was shining across the river, illuminating the steady lull of the water. There was a young group of boys playing a quick pick-up game on the court, and the sound of the basketball slamming against the pavement brought back far too many memories.

She'd stood on this court with Lucas countless times before, but she hadn't really been back here with him since high school. He lost his love for basketball when he entered college and the world of writing, and since then Lucas had never really returned to the court where his entire life had begun.

_"This is my world, Brooke...or at least it used to be," he said, gesturing to the court where his old group of friends were playing._

_She smiled coyly and replied, "I have been here before, you know."_

_"I know, I've just never told you what this place is to me...it's not just a court," he paused, gripping her hands tightly in his, "it's where I came from, it's where I belong. It's my world."_

_Her smile softened a bit, and she knew that what he was saying was something more than just an explanation of what the basketball court was to him. He was opening his heart to her in ways that he never had before. _

_"So do I get to be part of this world?" she asked shyly, still with that ever present hint of mischief in her eyes._

_"The biggest part," he said, lowering his head to hers. _

_And then he kissed her._

Brooke got out of the car slowly, and with tentative steps she made her way across the grass to the picnic table that she'd sat on so many times in the past. As she sat down, she noticed that the sound of the ball dribbling had ceased, and she looked curiously to the group of boys playing on the court. They were all staring at her, but the look on their faces wasn't the normal reaction that a boy would get when looking at Brooke Davis. Their expressions conveyed a hint of pity, and even sadness.

The boldest one out of the group approached her shyly, and he looked to be no more than 16 years old, with sandy brown hair and a hint of freckles across his nose. He reached out his hand hesitantly, and Brooke took it in her own.

"Just wanted to let you know, we're all sorry for your loss Ms. Davis," he said, nodding his head back toward his friends to let her know that he wasn't the only one sending his respect. Then he dropped her hand and returned to the court, and they resumed their game as if she'd never shown up.

It seemed that the entire town of Tree Hill knew about the loss of Lucas Scott, local writer and former basketball player. Brooke wasn't surprised though. There had been dozens of newspaper articles about the plane crash, and most local television stations had covered the story almost every night for two weeks straight.

Brooke brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, and she sat in silence for many minutes. She watched the game on the court without really paying attention to what was going on, but for the first time in two weeks she felt at peace in a place that she could remember Lucas clearly, as if he were still here. She was content to just be there, in the place that Lucas belonged, in his world.

She pictured Jamie in her mind, with his childish laughter and those perfect blue eyes mixed with blonde hair. Nathan and Haley were amazing parents to him, but they were two people, and Brooke was only one person. At the rate that she was going at, she'd never be able to raise a child on her own. _I raised myself,_ she thought, trying to give herself the benefit of the doubt. She had, after all, grown up with limited parental guidance, and she turned out to be a pretty decent person.

She jumped a bit when someone touched her shoulder from behind, and she whirled around to find Karen standing with Lily.

"Why don't you go play by the swings, Lil?" Karen suggested, pointing to the playground that was in walking distance from the basketball court.

Lily ran off to play, and Karen took a seat next to Brooke on the picnic table.

"You didn't have to bring her out so late, Karen. I was just about to come home..."

But Karen just shook her head and handed Brooke a sweatshirt, and she took it in her hands, realizing almost immediately that it was Lucas's old grey hoody.

"You left it in the bathroom, and I figured you'd need it. It's a chilly night, isn't it?" Karen offered, sounding happy and energetic.

Brooke slowly nodded her head and looked at the woman beside her questioningly, wondering why she seemed so happy at the moment. Lucas's mother had been a wreck for weeks, even worse than Brooke had, but at the moment she looked unfazed.

Minutes passed by, and the only distraction that Brooke received besides the ongoing basketball game was the casual comments from Karen. She made remarks about the weather, the talent of the boys that were playing, and even about how beautiful the river and the town beyond it looked at night. She spoke of anything except the positive pregnancy test that she'd read hours before.

Finally, Brooke couldn't take it anymore. If Karen wasn't going to talk about it, then she would have to.

"How'd you do it?" she asked, interrupting Karen's speech about how it was supposed to rain for the next three days.

Karen looked at her curiously, and after a pause she said, "Do what?"

"The single mother thing...raising a child by yourself. How'd you manage?"

The older woman smiled knowingly, as if she knew that this question was coming. Brooke looked into her eyes, blue as Lucas's and filled with wisdom, and waited anxiously for her to answer. There must be a secret to being a single parent, something that everyone else knew and that Brooke had yet to find out.

"I fought, Brooke," Karen said, sighing heavily, "and it was hard, but I fought until it got easier. There were some nights when I just wanted to give up, but I had Keith with me, and he was always there to help. But in the long run, I was blessed with an amazing child that turned into an even greater man, and that made everything worth it."

The sounds of Lily's laughter from the playground carried to the two women sitting on the picnic table, and Karen's eyes glimmered with the threat of tears. "And you know what? I'm fighting all over again, and this time I don't have Keith or even Lucas here to help me."

Brooke turned away as she caught sight of the first tear slipping down Karen's cheek, and suddenly she felt ashamed. Karen had raised a child on her own, and she had lost him. She'd fallen in love with a man and she was going to marry him, but she lost him also, and now she's raising his child. Brooke didn't deserve to feel bad for herself, not when she knew of another person who had suffered through so much more.

"But Brooke, you need to understand something," Karen said, and she reached for Brooke's hand with the experience and empathy of someone who understood how Brooke felt. She squeezed her hand gently, and with a quivering voice she continued, "_You_ are more of a fighter than I've ever been, or will ever hope to be. If anyone can do this, it's you. I know that this seems like a terrifying tragedy right now, but I promise you things will get better. You can do this, and I'll be there every step of the way to help you."

But she was still unconvinced, and she shook her head and looked to the ground. She couldn't do this, not without Lucas to help her. She couldn't look into his child's eyes every single day, because she'd be too afraid. She didn't want to have the burden of seeing Lucas in her child. It would only hurt her more.

Karen cleared her throat, and this time when she spoke, her voice was filled with a passion that Brooke hadn't heard from her in what seemed like a life-time. "You're brave, Brooke. Even in spite of tragedy, you're still brave and you'll always be that way, and it would be a shame if your child would never be able to see that their mother is such a brilliant person."

She turned to look back into Karen's eyes. A strong breeze swarmed around them, and it carried with it a memory of someone who once gave her the courage to overcome something that seemed almost insurmountable.

_She sat on her bed with Lucas beside her, and they were both surrounded by books filled with things that she would probably never care enough about to read. In order to campaign for class president, she had to give a speech. But public speaking was never her area of expertise, and she didn't even know what to speak about or how to say it. Furthermore, even if she came up with a speech, she knew that no one would ever take her seriously, and she wanted to prove all of them wrong. She wanted to show that she was so much more than what her reputation pegged her as- a party girl. In the beginning, she was confident and sure that she could win. But now, her courage was slowly becoming less and less apparent, as were her chances of winning the election. _

_"This is from a speech from John F. Kennedy," Lucas said, handing her a small book. "I think it could work for you."_

_She looked at him curiously, and turned to read the section that he pointed out. She skimmed the words quickly, taking in their meaning._

_"The courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumph...and __**tragedy. **__A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles, and dangers, and pressures. And that is the basis of all morality."_

_She immediately shook her head after reading them, and turned to Lucas to protest._

_"This is all about courage. Nobody is gonna believe this coming from me."_

_He looked down for a moment and smiled, then he lifted his head again to look into her eyes. "I would," he said sincerely, and she opened her mouth slightly in shock, and smiled at him. _

_He believed in her, and he knew that she could do this. And because of that, she found a new belief in herself._

Lucas wasn't here for her, and he was never going to be again. But Brooke knew that he still believed in her, even if he was gone. If he was here, he would tell her that she was brilliant and beauitful and brave, and that she could handle this.

Karen squeezed her hand once more, and Brooke unconsciously moved her free hand to her stomach. She continued to look into Karen's eyes, and for the first time in a long time, Brooke Davis smiled.

"I can handle this," she said fiercely, and she knew, deep down inside, that she could.

_I don't wanna forget the present is a gift_

_And I don't wanna take for granted _

_The time you may have here with me_

_Cuz Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed_

* * *

_Thanks for reading guys! There's one more chapter left for this, so I hope you stick it out till the end! Yes, this story is sad, but life isn't always about happy times, you know? Sometimes you've got to go through some hard times before things get easier, and I guess that's what this story is sort of about...Anyway, thank you so much for reviews and criticism. Also, to those that have asked me to make an alternate plot line in which Lucas lives- sorry, I can't do that, but I can try to make up for it by giving you another story sometime in the future that's extra happy! Sound good?_


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, so it's been awhile since the previous chapter, but I just couldn't find the inspiration to write this last chapter. I know, I know, no excuses allowed, but I apologize for how long this took. If any of you are reading-nerds like I am, you should go read, "Sisters," by Danielle Steel. I just finished it, and it was such a touching story that it inspired me to finish off the last chapter of this :-)

Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, and I hope you like this last chapter. It's pretty long...so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH

"'Tis better to have loved and lost,

than never to have loved at all."

_Alfred Lord Tennyson_

The morning was fresh and beautiful, and the streets were silent with the beginning of a new autumn day. The sidewalks were covered in an assortment of leaves, and every so often Brooke bent down to retrieve one that caught her eye as she walked along the empty paths. It had been a week since she'd discovered that she was pregnant, and she still hadn't gone to the doctor yet. Despite her lack of knowledge about pregnancies, she knew that taking walks was probably a good way to exercise, and as she strolled along she oddly felt at peace.

At first, spending so much time alone with herself was a nightmare. She'd grown so used to spending every single free second with Lucas, and when that luxury wasn't available any longer, she'd forgotten what it felt like to do things without someone else by her side. As she walked down the sidewalk, alone save for the constant scattering of leaves from the trees overhead, she remembered the many times that she walked with Lucas. They were always silent with one another, but he would hold her hand and sometimes even stop in stride to give her a gentle kiss, and in the absence of speech his gestures were more than enough.

A week ago, thinking of Lucas in the way that she was right now would have lead to tears and a constant ache in her heart, but today, thinking of him wasn't as cumbersome as it usually was.

It was early in the morning, no later than 7 A.M., and Brooke was surprised to see a young couple pushing a stroller on the other side of the street. She paused for a moment, and even though she knew that it was rude, she couldn't help but to stare at them. The man was pushing the stroller, and every few feet the woman by his side stopped him to run in front of the stroller to check the young infant that laid in it. Brooke smiled as she watched her fuss over the small child, and in that instant she wondered if she would ever be a good mother. As quickly as it had come, her smile disappeared.

The thought unnerved her, simply because she honestly couldn't predict how she would handle raising a child. Today was a good day, but she couldn't say the same for tomorrow, and the fear of the unknown was what truly scared her. What would she do when a bad day came along, a day in which she didn't feel so at peace with her life? What would she do if her emotions suddenly tugged her back into the constant heart-ache that had become all too familiar to her in the wake of tragedy?

She felt her mind begin to spiral out of control, and a desperate panic settled in her body at the threat of her unanswered questions. But then the crisp autumn breeze ruffled her hair, and the silence of the early morning was broken by the cheerful sound of a bird singing in the distance. Brooke sighed and took one last glance at the happy couple walking with their newborn baby across the street. Then she picked up her pace and turned the nearest corner, leaving her worried thoughts behind.

-

Brooke had been walking aimlessly for awhile now, and she didn't know when it was that she'd begun to move in the direction of her friends' house. But it didn't matter at this point, and she naturally turned the doorknob as if it were her own home and stepped inside.

The house was quiet and dark, and the only light was provided by the morning sunshine that flooded through the windows. It was still early, and Brooke knew that the small family was probably still sleeping. She tiptoed through the house, carefully stepping over the various toys scattered across the floor. When she reached the kitchen, the sound of a basketball pounding against the pavement meant her ears. She walked up to the window that was perched over the kitchen sink and peeked through, and a knowing smile crossed her face as she saw just who she'd expected.

Within seconds, she was outside again, quietly closing the back door that lead to the backyard. She walked across the grass that was still wet with the early morning dew until her feet reached the blacktop. The court was the size of a regular basketball court, maybe even bigger, and she remembered how excited Lucas and his brother were on the day they built it. It was a dream come true for the two of them- a full length court in one's own backyard that banished the constant need to play at the river court.

His back was turned to her, but as she edged a little closer to him she noticed his shoulders stiffen midway through shooting his foul-shot, recognizing almost immediately that someone else was in his presence. He looked over his shoulder, and she gave him a weak smile the moment his eyes focused on her.

"Hi Nate," she whispered.

He trained his blue eyes on her, and without looking at the hoop, extended his arms and shot the ball. Seconds later, the net fanned out in a swooshing noise, and Nathan Scott turned around with a satisfied grin on his face to walk over to the woman that his brother had always loved.

She hadn't seen him since the funeral, and almost a month later, he looked the same if not worse than he had at his brother's burial. His 5 0'clock shadow had turned into something that resembled an almost fully-grown out beard, his eyes were blood-shot, and wrinkles that shouldn't have been there in the first place had surfaced on his 22 year old face.

He reached out and took her in his arms, but his body was stiff against her, and it was an embrace that held no feeling. He pulled away quickly, and she suspected that it was because he couldn't bare to touch her any longer.

The look in his eyes told her that she was right.

"Don't you think it's a little early for basketball?" she said, throwing in her signature eyebrow raise in an attempt to lighten the mood. This was why she had stayed away for so long, closing herself off from her friends and the world. She could barely handle her own pain, and seeing those that she loved in a saddened state was something that she couldn't bare.

"Don't pretend," he said, and then he took a step around her and walked back into his house and the sleeping family inside it.

She stood for a moment, shocked at his unusual animosity, and seconds later she found herself storming into the house after him. She barged into the kitchen to find him standing over the sink, gulping down a glass of water as if he'd never drink again for the rest of his life.

"Don't pretend what?" Brooke demanded, stomping her foot impatiently as he refilled his glass and downed the drink all over again.

Nathan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and his shoulders sank as he leaned his weight against the sink.

"Don't pretend like you haven't seen us in three weeks, Brooke! Like it's okay to just walk into my home as if the lack of contact between us has been non-existent!"

His voice was filled with a controlled anger, but he wasn't really yelling at her. His tone was suppressed and close to a whisper, and Brooke couldn't figure out if this was because he didn't want to wake up his sleeping wife and son, or if he was making a futile effort to take it easy on her.

"Nate, you don't understand..." she trailed off, knowing right then that she had said the wrong thing. Because Nathan Scott _did _understand. It was his brother, his son's uncle, his wife's best friend.

But before she could take back what she said, he was speaking in his strained voice once again. "Then explain it to me, Brooke."

The peace that she had felt earlier suddenly vanished, and within moments she was sitting at the kitchen table, fighting to keep the tears back as the harsh reality of her life confronted her once again.

"I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, and it just seemed so impossible to see you guys or to talk to you," she said, tracing her fingers over the wooden surface of the table.

His hardened gaze softened, and he pulled a chair out to sit beside her as she continued.

"_Everything_ was impossible, and I couldn't find it in myself to get up and actually live...until now I guess."

He gently took her hand within his own, and she looked up at him with glassy eyes. All traces of his previous anger were gone, and even though he looked as if he were about to fall apart, there was a strength behind his blue eyes that gave her hope.

"But that's just it, Brooke," he said, shaking his head and dropping his eyes to the floor, "you're here and you're alive. Jamie...he's asked me so many times about what happened to you and where you were, and I think he understands everything else that happened with Lucas..."

His voice trailed off, and for a moment she thought that he was going to break down and cry, but he took a deep breath and forced himself to stare her straight in the eye.

"Lucas is gone, but you're not. Don't let yourself die with him, Brooke. You can't disappear on us again, and I know that it was hard, believe me I do-"

"I'm here right now, Nate," Brooke interrupted, squeezing his hand as if to prove her point, "and I'm not going anywhere again. I'm sorry...I should have called Haley, or you, or anyone."

Nathan nodded his head, and then the chair squeaked as he pushed himself closer to her and took her in his arms. She buried her head in his chest, willing herself to be strong, and to hold the tears back. His arms tightened around her, and he sighed deeply as he finally pulled away. Nathan had never really resembled his older brother. He was taller, more muscular, and had dark brown hair. Lucas was short and lean, with light blonde hair. But as she stared into his eyes, she knew that Nathan was just like Lucas, despite their physical traits. He had a good heart, and that was something that the two brothers would always have in common.

"So, eggs or pancakes?" Nathan asked, his lop-sided grin appearing on his face.

Brooke laughed, and the sound startled her only because she hadn't heard it in such a long time. Brooke placed her hands on her stomach as she continued to giggle, wondering if her unborn baby could feel her sudden burst of happiness. In that instant, she remembered that the conversation they had just had was far from over. Nathan stood from the table, and her laughter died away as she grabbed at his arm and pulled him back into his chair.

"There's something else I need to tell you," she whispered, her voice hoarse from her laughter.

"Okay," he said slowly, noting the sudden look of concern on her face.

She took a deep breath and let it out, focusing her gaze on the flowers that Haley had placed all over the kitchen counters. There were ones of every style and variety, and she wanted to laugh because it almost made the room look like a florist. There was one pot in particular that caught her eye, and it was placed underneath the window, with the early morning rays of sunshine casting a halo around it. There was no flower in it, just plain dark soil, and she thought of the seed that was probably planted deep within it. It was something that was growing, prospering, beginning. A new life.

The sides of her mouth turned up into a brilliant smile, and she cleared her throat so that her voice would be strong and clear.

"I'm pregnant."

Nathan blinked over and over again, and after the distinct "tick" of the clock became the only sound heard in the kitchen, she began to wonder if he had heard her correctly.

"You're _pregnant_?"

Brooke jumped in her chair and turned around, knowing that it hadn't been Nathan that had just asked that question. Haley stood at the door of the kitchen in her robe, with her hands over her mouth and a wide-eyed stare that would have been hilarious had it been in any different situation.

She nodded her head once in answer to her friend's question, and if it was possible, Haley's eye grew even wider.

"Is it...I mean, it's Lucas' right?" Haley asked her voice louder than it normally was.

"Of course it is! Who else's would it be?" Brooke said, shooting her an icy glare.

Haley shrugged her shoulders, and for a long moment the three friends stood in silence. Brooke looked back and fourth between Nathan and Haley, searching their faces for a sign to tell her what they were thinking. She wanted to know if they thought this was just another tragedy, because in her heart she was fighting to believe that it wasn't. But then the tension of the room broke as Haley charged at her, flinging her arms around Brooke's shoulders and squeezing her to the point of pain.

"I can't believe it...I just, this is just crazy!" Haley said, her words muffled as she choked back a sob.

Then she felt a teardrop fall across her neck as her friend hugged her even closer, and Brooke pulled back instantly to see the first few drops of water fall from Haley's eyes. But before she could get the wrong idea, Haley immediately shook her head and smiled.

"This is amazing, it's a blessing Brooke. You know that, right?"

She nodded her head quickly in agreeance with her best friend. Then she felt her throat tighten at the same moment that her eyes began to moisten, and she knew that there was no reason anymore to hold back her tears. These tears were indifferent to the ones that she had grown so used to- they were tears of happiness.

-

The day had been long and eventful, filled with the laughter and talk of close friends who had been at a distance from each other for far too long. They sat on the back patio by the pool, with Jamie splashing in the water and the three adults talking amongst themselves. The sun was low in the sky, and Brooke knew that it would only take a few minutes for it to disappear completely. It was getting late, and she needed to get home.

As if he had read her mind, Nathan touched her shoulder and said, "Do you want me to drive you home?"

Brooke looked at the dozens of plates covering the table they were sitting at, and she knew that she was way too full from the barbecue they'd made for themselves to walk home.

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. You might have to carry me though, I ate so much I don't even think I can stand up."

Jamie laughed from the pool, and his small voice called out to his godmother, "Daddy only carries me places! You're too old to be carried, Aunt Brooke!"

Brooke smiled widely and watched Jamie splash around, completely content in the innocent world he lived in. He looked mostly like Nathan, but if you looked at him closely there was an uncanny resemblance to Lucas found in his blue eyes and blonde hair. If his nephew could look that much like him, Brooke could only help but wonder if Lucas's daughter or son would share the same resemblance.

She hugged Haley good-bye, and Jamie lovingly soaked her clothing all the way through when he jumped on top of her straight from the pool to give her a kiss and a hug.

She got into the car with Nathan in silence, and the moment he turned out of the driveway she took a deep breath and said, "I want to go home, Nate."

He didn't turn to look at her, nor did he say a word. He just nodded his head and kept his eyes set on the road, and in a few minutes he pulled up to the house that Brooke had been too afraid to enter for the past three weeks. From the outside, it didn't look the same to her. The blue shutters that clashed so perfectly with the white siding of the house suddenly didn't look so appealing. The garden with the dozens and dozens of flowers in it was distraught and un-kept, much like her life had been lately. The roses placed on the windowsills, which Lucas had sworn he loved only because they were red and reminded him of her, didn't make the empty home feel as welcoming as it once had.

But the house that she'd lived in with Lucas was just one more thing she needed to come to terms with, and it wasn't going to be the last.

"Do you want me to walk you in?" Nathan asked from the driver's seat.

Brooke unhooked her seatbelt and softly said, "No, but you can be a gentleman and walk me to the door."

He laughed and jumped out of the car, and she followed him slowly. The pathway up to the front door seemed like it had gotten longer by an eternity, and by the time they'd finally made it to the front porch Brooke felt her chest get heavy. There was a small package on the steps, and she scooped it up in her arms without so much as a second glance at it. The mailbox was overflowing with letters that hadn't been looked at in three weeks, but she didn't have the will nor the heart to open a single one.

"Are you okay from here? You're sure you don't want me to come in with you?"

Brooke turned to look at Nathan, and her heart swelled with appreciation over how protective he was of her. It was like having an older brother, and it was good to have someone to fall back on if she ever needed it.

"I'm fine, trust me," she said, but the look in his eyes told her that he knew that she was just putting on an inconvincible act.

He shifted his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot, and she waited patiently for him to say whatever else he needed to say to her.

"Look, I just want you to know that I'm here for you, Brooke. I know that you're probably going to hear that from a ton of different people, but I really mean it. I'm going to be the best uncle to your son or daughter, just like Keith was to Lucas-" his breath hitched for a moment, and she knew what he was going to say even before he said it, "and just like Lucas was to Jamie."

Before she could reply, he hastily gave her a kiss on the fore-head and walked back down the pathway to his car. She knew from the glistened look to his eye that he was probably crying, and he didn't want her around him to see it. He waved to her and drove off, and she waited until his car was out of sight to turn to the door.

She pulled her house key from her pocket, and her hand shook as she held it in front of the door-knob. She could remember the last time she had been in this house, and she presumed that her house phone was still lying on the living room floor in shards from when she dropped it after the phone call. The open window to the left of the door and the sounds coming from it told her that the TV was still on, and her mind was vivid with the memory of how she had turned the television on, just for the proof that Flight 33 had really gone down. The bed was probably still made perfectly with the new sheets she had put on it with the intention of spending the entire day next to Lucas in bed, laying together amongst the pillows that she'd aligned perfectly against the head-board. The computer was probably still on, opened to the website for the airlines, because she had checked countless times that morning to make sure that Lucas's flight would be on time. The plane never even landed.

Brooke pulled back her hand with a jolt, and she turned away from the door, unable to go inside. The sun had just set, and the dusky haze of the oncoming night still made the outdoors seem welcoming. She cursed herself as she slowly sank onto the front steps, angry that she didn't have the small amount of courage it took to open a door and walk inside a house.

She sat quietly for many minutes, trying to talk herself into going inside, but her own words were unconvincing. If she couldn't do something as simple as this, than how was she going to be able to raise a baby?

She moved her hands to cover her face, and realized that she was still holding the package that she had found on the doorstep. Her eyes scanned the front of it, and the shipping address said that it had come from London. Her heart began to pound in her ears as she remembered the voice-mail Lucas had left on her phone from his flight.

_"Oh, and by the way, I sent you something special the other day, but you probably won't get it for a few more days because I wanted to see your face when you opened it. Hope you like it. I'll see you soon...love you."_

He'd sent her a gift. From London.

She stared at the package, imagining Lucas mailing it to her weeks ago, and in a haste she tore the cardboard apart and removed the many pieces of protective foam inside. At the bottom of the box was a book, and she quickly pulled it out and held it so close to her face that it almost touched her nose.

The cover was of a solid red door, and at the bottom it read, "Girls and Red Doors, by Lucas Scott."

Her hands shook as she flipped it open to the first page, and as she did so a small sheet of paper slipped from the pages.

It was a letter from him, and her eyes began to blur with tears as she quickly scanned the short amount of words. She read it once, twice, three times, savoring the distinctive cursive hand-writing Lucas wrote in.

_Brooke,_

_I've been writing this book for awhile now, and it finally came full circle when I got to London. It's been awhile since I wrote my last book...3 years right? I figured it was finally time to get started on something new. And of course, the first copy goes out to you. It hasn't even hit the stores yet, and it's still only the first manuscript, but I just couldn't wait any longer to give it to you. I miss you, and I can't wait to see you read this, because I know that I'll be with you again when you do. _

_P.S .- Just read the dedication of the book, it says it all. _

She rubbed her eyes to free them from her tears, and flipped to the first page. In the center of the page, it said, "For you. I love you."

His words were mysterious and subdued, probably in an attempt to conceal who they were intended for. But Brooke knew that it was for her, and she ran her finger over the words continuously, tracing each letter until the words were imprinted in her mind. A part of her wanted to believe that if she kept on reading them, Lucas would appear beside her and whisper his written words in her ear. The realistic part of her knew that it was just a foolish dream.

She would make sure that his second and last book would get published, and she would also see to it that this one would be even more successful than the last. Lucas deserved it.

There was a loud roar from overhead, and Brooke looked up to the sky to see a plane gliding into the heavens. She strained her eyes to follow it as it climbed higher and higher into the deep abyss of the hazy night, and in that moment she felt him. She felt his arms around her, the smooth caress of his lips against her neck, the gentle lull of his voice as he whispered in her ear. She imagined him being a passenger on the plane soaring over her head, imagined him rising into the heavens, on a trip that would never bring him home. Her eyes followed the airplane until it vanished behind the clouds, and she knew in that instant that he was there. She didn't exactly know where _there _was, or if it even existed, but an indescribable feeling told her that it did. It was like a silent sanction, a closure that she needed in order to keep moving forward.

Then she stood up, dusted off the bottom of her pants, and turned back to the door. All traces of her previous anguish were gone as she slid the key into the knob, turned it, and with a loud creak pushed it open. She stepped inside and shut the door behind her, all the while thinking a single profound thought.

It was better to have loved and lost him, than to never have loved him at all.

**12 years later**

He stood with his back turned to her, chatting along pleasantly with his older cousin, and she stared at the back of his blonde head intently. He was tall for his age, and the other boys in school taunted him for being so skinny and lean. But in her eyes, he was perfect. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he whipped his head around and her breath caught in her throat when her eyes locked with his.

They were blue as the ocean, with specks of gray in them. Sometimes, she just stared at him for drawn out moments, and he would pester her and tell her not to do it because it frightened him, but she couldn't help herself. He reminded her too much of someone else.

"You're doing it again," he said, his eyes squinting in that way of his, and she sighed.

She never got over how much he looked and acted like his father, and she expected that she never would.

"I can't help it, handsome. I've got to stare at you and make up for the fact that I won't be seeing you for an entire week!" she said, grinning at him.

The noise of the airport was almost deafening, as dozens of indistinct figures rushed to their flights. A few feet away stood Nathan and Haley, surrounded by enough luggage to serve them for an entire year away. They were going to Florida for a short vacation, and Jamie insisted that his younger cousin came with them.

"This will be the final boarding call for Flight 421, to Daytona, Florida."

The calculated voice of the announcer echoed through the airport, and a chill went up her spine as she tried to block out the memory of the last time she had stood in an airport, twelve years earlier, waiting for Lucas to board Flight 33.

She had already said good-bye to Nathan and Haley, prompting them over and over again to call the moment the flight landed. She waved to them once more and turned back to the young boy standing beside her.

"You have your ticket, right kiddo?" she asked, and unable to resist, she reached out and smoothed his hair over his fore-head.

He shoved her hand away, but a playful smirk crossed his face. "I thought we agreed that I was too old for all that lovey-dovey stuff? At least not in public, Mom. I get enough heat from the boys at school about how 'hot' you are," he said, using air quotes to emphasize the word, "and I really can't deal with the public displays of affection on top of everything else."

She laughed loudly and grabbed a hold of him, pulling his lean body into an embrace. He struggled against her at first, but despite his tall frame, she was still stronger than him. He let out an annoyed sigh as he allowed his arms to wrap around her, permitting the moment with him that he knew she needed. After all, if his memory served him correctly, the last time she had seen his father was in this very airport.

Mothers were always close with their sons and daughters, but Will Scott liked to believe that the relationship he shared with his own mother was something more. With the absence of a father in his life, it was hard to get by as a boy on the verge of being a teenager. But his mother compensated for his loss, and he couldn't help but admire her. She was brilliant and superior in his eyes to any other adult he had ever known, and she had this strength about her that never faltered. He'd read his father's book, the one with the red door on the cover, and knew that he had loved his mother deeply. He also came to the conclusion that his mother had loved his father just as much, judging by the diamond ring she kept around her neck. He assumed that it was the engagement ring his father had given her, and sometimes, he would catch her staring into space, absentmindedly slipping the ring onto her fingers, and he knew that she was thinking of him. As he stood with his arms wrapped around her, William Scott knew why his father had loved her so much. His mother was one of a kind.

"Mom, it's a week. Just a week, and I'll be in this exact airport again, standing here, and I'll be home," he said into her neck, loving how he was almost as tall as she was at the young age of 12.

She pulled back and held him at arms length, fighting to keep Lucas's words out of her head.

_"29 days, Brooke, and we'll be standing here again. I promise."_

A tear slipped from her eye, and Will immediately wiped it away with the tenderness and love of someone well beyond his 12 years. Then he smiled, revealing his braces that he utterly despised, and hugged her once again.

"Don't cry, Mom," he said, then lowered his voice to a whisper. "Maybe I can just stay home, Jamie's the one that really wants me to go..."

But Brooke immediately shook her head, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and stepped away from him. "You're going. You'll have fun, and you'll call me the second that plane touches the ground, got it mister?" she asked, attempting a stern voice that just seemed foolish coming from her. She could always imagine Lucas being stern and laying down the law with their son, but she was too easy-going to ever be that serious with him. Of course, there were times when she yelled at him, but she wasn't the kind of strict and uptight mother that she always saw in the parking lots at Will's school, and she was okay with that.

He nodded his head, gathered his things, and with one last look into his mother's eyes, he sprinted off to join Nathan, Jamie, and Haley. She keeps her eyes rooted to her son's blonde head as he walked farther and farther away from her, but the crowds were so thick that she eventually lost sight of him. Then she closed her eyes and pictured, as if it were yesterday, the retreating figure of Lucas when he had walked away from her in this very airport. In a haste, she jumped up onto the nearest chair next to her and scanned the thousands of people maneuvering to and from their flights. It took her less than a second to spot Will.

Placing her hands over her mouth, she screamed out his name, not caring that every other person in the airport had turned around to stare at the crazy lady standing on top of a chair. She watched him turn and look expectantly over his shoulder, and she waved her arms frantically until he saw her. He smiled and waved back to her, and she ignored the stares of the people around her as she shouted, "I love you!" She could tell, even from a distance, that his cheeks were turning red from embarassment. He mouthed the words back to her, and Nathan shot her an amused stare as he spotted her standing on the chair.

Moments later, they dissapeared through the doorway that would bring them onto the plane.

Brooke still had her arm raised in farewell, and she murmured, "He'll be fine," over and over again. But she wasn't trying to convince herself, because she already knew from experience that everything would be okay in the end. She was still standing, still moving forward after 12 years without Lucas by her side. But she had his son with her, and even if their child was the last gift that Lucas had been able to give her, it was the greatest one of all.

* * *

So that's it, the first time I've finished a story that's longer than 2 chapters! I was really hesitant about posting the part 12 years into the future, because I thought at first that it would be okay just ending it with Brooke walking back into the house. But I knew that I needed to show that everything truly did turn out okay in the end, with Brooke being strong enough to raise her son and even to allow him to walk away from her in the airport and board a plane with the knowledge that his own father had died on one... I hope you guys liked it, and if you did (or didn't), please let me know your thoughts in reviews! Love you all! 


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